FIVE FILMS FROM...2006

BLACK SHEEP

(Directed by Jonathan King)

'I thought you of all people would appreciate efforts to deconstruct the colonialist paternalistic agrarian hierarchy that disenfranchises the Tangata Whenua and erodes the natural resources of Aotearoa'

When it comes to animal-horror, even cuddlesome barnyard beasties get a chance to show their teeth. There have been umpteen examples of this in the genre, from pigs (“Razorback”, “Chaw”) to cows (“Isolation”), goats (“Revenge of Billy the Kid”), and much more. Hell, even bunnies (“Night of the Lepus”) and frickin’ chickens (Bert I. Gordon’s “The Food of the Gods”) get in on the act! But the genuinely funny and gory “Black Sheep” stands in a field of its own (Hah!). Not to be confused with the same-named comedy romp from 1996 with Chris Farley, this takes the zombie apocalypse framework and pastes it over the plentiful sheep population of rural New Zealand. Somewhat surprisingly, it manages that unique trick of being sublimely ridiculous and a little scary at the same time. Don’t believe us? Check out the YouTube comments on the trailers and clips to see how many people caught the flick at a too-young age, didn’t get the humour, but ended up having farm-related nightmares. The film is very much geared towards wacky exploitation and splatter and is as much a homage to Peter Jackson’s early films (“Bad Taste”, “Brain Dead”, etc.) as anything else. But it became a festival favourite and now exists somewhere between guilty pleasure and cult movie.

The story takes place in the “Home of Lamb” itself, namely New Zealand. After some childhood incidents on his father’s farm leave him with a crippling phobia of sheep, Henry Oldfield (Nathan Meister) returns in adulthood to meet with his brother (Angus played by Peter Feeney) some fifteen years later. This is mainly to sell his share of the family business, but unbeknownst to him, Angus is carrying out secret genetic experiments to improve the livestock. Awkwardly this has resulted in a genetic mutation that transforms sheep from docile vegetarians into ferocious carnivores. Not only that but in a nod to popular zombie lore, their bite can also transform a human into a bloodthirsty half-sheep monstrosity. Yes, really. And you thought “Zombeavers” was unique. After a botched attempt at do-goodery by a pair of animal activists, a mutated animal is released into local flocks and soon the rural community is beset by hordes of flesh-eating woolly fiends … and the occasional human/sheep zombie.

It really is as marvellously bonkers as it sounds. For fans of other Kiwi Genre and Jackson’s splat-stick, this floats in the same sort of area. Straight-faced gore that veers somewhere between satire, comedy, and lunacy. And it’s all the better for it. Whilst it’s no “Lord of the Rings”, the fact that NZ’s Weta Workshop was behind the SFX, gives it a little bit more credence and polish than most low-budget efforts. There is the occasional bit of CGI, including a marvellous shot where hundreds of sheep gambol majestically over a hilltop and descend to tear an outdoor business presentation to bloody shreds. Mostly though there are animatronics and practical puppetry, which enables semi-realistic sheep’s heads to be punched forcibly by the actors and bite off prosthetic limbs with gleeful abandon. It also lets them double-take in close-up and emit quizzical “Baah!?” noises when they drive Land Rovers off cliff edges. That happens.

You’ll probably get an idea of the level of humour and “horror” when you get a load of the genuine poster straplines from the original promotions. “There are 40 Million Sheep in New Zealand. And they’re pissed off”, not to mention “Get the Flock Out of Here!”, and “Get Ready for the Violence of the Lambs”. Some things just write themselves, don’t they? So if you’re eye-rolling at those puns, you’re probably not the target audience. But if you are up for a sense of fun and a nonsense of an experience, this’ll be right up your barnyard. Definitely consisting of R-rated humour and spurting wounds, you’ll get intestines being tugged out, a guy feebly attempting to ward off an attack with his own severed leg, jaws being ripped off, etc. Religion and sex also get a look-in, with a Pastor confusing the apocalyptic sheep flock as being indicative of the “Lamb of God” scriptures in the Good Book, shortly before being eaten by them. And the narrative isn’t going to miss out on the expected open goal of bestiality riffs, with one character being enamoured with having romantic encounters of the sheepy kind. Do not expect high art.   

As can be seen from all that, you’ll know if this is for you or not. Oddly enough, despite all the OTT shenanigans, the plentiful gore, and sheer gusto, some sequences still come across as faintly chilling. Especially where real sheep silently eyeball humans and groups of victims are surrounded by vicious fake versions of them. Put yourself in the same shoes and imagine what hiking across desolate moors would be like if sheep really did lose their rag (or wool) and decided that their future was not going to include mint sauce. (Roast) Food for thought.

Interestingly, in Spain, Manga Films released it in August 2007 in a double-bill format that was designed to be a Tarantino “Grindhouse” rip-off, after pairing it up with Christopher Smith’s “Severance”. And that’s not a bad match-up at all. Otherwise, as stated before it became a festival favourite after opening at the Toronto Film Festival and even notched up a fair few favourable reviews. The cast is game for the hi-jinks, especially Meister with his atypically goofy “hero”, and it has slightly higher production values than you might think. Very much worth tracking down and cracking open a tinny of lager before settling down for some downright daftness.   

Fun Fact: In one scene a character is seen reading "The Penguin History of New Zealand" just before he is killed by sheep. This is a genuine and well-known book written by Dr. Michael King, father of director Jonathan King, and is considered to be the definitive study of the country. It remains popular to this day and has been in print since 2003. Presumably not because of this film though…

FIDO

(Directed by Andrew Currie)

'In the brain and not the chest. Head shots are the very best.'

Remember that zombie apocalypse comedy that starred Billy Connolly and Carrie Anne Moss? No? Well, why not? It was bloody good. Sad to say that despite some awesome reviews at the time, a good festival run, and surprisingly good sales on the DVD market, this offbeat cross-genre offering seems to have been largely forgotten now. However, it is fondly championed by those who caught it during its first theatrical run and subsequent home media releases. Directed by Currie, the film was influenced by George Romero's “Dead” movies (obvs) and also Jacques Tourneur's “I Walked with a Zombie”. Having said that, the impact of “Shaun of the Dead” also plays a part, as does … and bear with us here … “Lassie” and other heroic animal films from the 1950s/60s. So what else makes it different from the average zom-com or unliving apocalypse?

Imagine if the events of Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” had taken place in the 1950s in the States, just as the American Dream era was in full flow and perfect suburbia was represented by the nuclear family and the white picket fence. Following the “Zombie Wars” in this alternate timeline, humans eventually triumphed and domesticated existing zombies, although undeath also awaits them if they die without having the brain destroyed. A national conglomerate (“Zomcon”) markets collars that inhibit the flesh-eating tendencies of zombies and allows them to be “kept” as servants, pets, or (eww) “romantic partners”. One such zombie (played expressively by Sir Billy) is brought home by Helen Robinson (a luminescent Moss with bouncy hair and flouncy dresses) to keep her  son (Timmy played by K’Sun Ray) company. He names him “Fido”, teaches him some tricks, and bonds with him. Unfortunately, his collar glitches and Fido eats the annoying neighbour and infects some bullies. This leads to a minor outbreak and Timmy has to fight to protect his new-found chum and bring this unique family the happy ending it deserves… even with the dead bodies left in the wake of their misadventures.

“Fido” is a lumpy warm hug of a film that isn’t shy to play up to its horror credentials. Although the gore is relatively minor and mostly played for laughs, lots of people do bite the dust or become zombified. All in all, though, it has a unique feel that comes across as a mash-up of “Pleasantville” and “Shaun of the Dead”. The 50s setting for a cosy post-zombie-war period gives it an unusual vibe and it can also be likened to the “Fallout” games/show in the way that it portrays those sensibilities. Even the opening exposition sequence is a charming Black-and-White pastiche of Pathe newsreels and “Night of the Living Dead”, before adjusting to 1950s technicolour.

There are lovely touches such as zombie education in the minors' classroom (“How many of you have had to kill a zombie? Ooh, not too many of you…”) and the whole thing is framed with a soundtrack that swaps between whimsical sit-com tunes to sci-fi dramatic dirges. The addition of “Hi Honey, I’m home” dialogue is the icing on the cake. Look forward to “You crazy wonderful zombie!” and “I knew you wouldn’t eat me, boy!”. Connolly is terrific as the titular zombie and embraces the opportunity to grunt/smile/bite/scare as needed. As anybody who’s seen his live shows will know, he's very capable of conveying a huge amount with some facial expressions and simple movements. Moss also shows some good comic timing and range in her role. The addition of excellent I-know-that-face-from-that-film character actors such as Dylan Baker, Henry Czerny, and Tim Blake Nelson doesn’t hurt either.

The juxtaposition between innocent 50s sensibilities and the potentially tasteless subject of zombie-lurve is handled amusingly rather than on a cringe-fest basis. Take the slo-mo flirting scenes between Fido and Helen for example, which should be ridiculous or barf-inducing, but are carried off with aplomb by the actors. Plot points are deliberately aimed at stuff like “Lassie” and other family films of the era, as suggested by Timmy’s name. Although he never gets stuck down a well, Fido does indeed come to his rescue on several occasions, and even “goes for help” when Timmy gets trapped.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a 50s-era film if moral lessons weren’t learnt. Fido shows that he is a loyal friend (and surrogate father), even when his control collar is kaput. Bigots and racists are shown the error of their ways, and bullies get… err… eaten. The offbeat tone may not work for everybody, but most genre fans with a funny bone will find it a joy when they first discover it. It makes you wonder why there aren’t more alternate-era zom-com films in evidence with such a variety of settings that could surely work. However, it’s still true to say that “Fido” is the good boy of 2006.  

Fun fact: Peter Stormare (of “Constantine” fame from 2005) was originally cast for the role of Fido, but upon being offered his role in “Prison Break”, he opted out of this movie a week before principal photography was to begin. This led to Sir Billy Connolly accepting the role of Fido in the weeks before filming since he was interested in the acting challenge of making the character compelling without any dialogue. He wasn’t best pleased about having to shave his beard off though, saying it was akin to removing his personality.       

COLD PREY

(Directed by Roar Uthaug)

'Prepare For Your Final Descent'

Such a good slasher that it might as well be named “Halloween: Frozen”, “Cold Prey” is frequently held up as an international benchmark for the sub-genre, even if the average filmgoer has never heard of it. It was a huge festival favourite and the 9th highest-grossing film in Norway during this year, which is remarkably good when you consider that this is a relatively low-key exploitation film playing alongside the big blockbusters in its home territory. The movie was shot entirely at the peak of Jotunheimen, part of the long-range of Scandinavian Mountains in Southern Norway. Surprisingly complex to organise, helicopters apparently flew the 20 tons of equipment to the top of the mountain where the temperature was below −25 degrees Celsius. Overall, it took 2 years to shoot the film and another 9 months for special effects and editing. A talented filmmaker, Uthaug went on to make the underrated “Tomb Raider” reboot, the genuinely jaw-dropping “The Wave”, and the surprisingly successful Norwegian-Kaiju Netflix project “Troll” (which he is currently working on the sequel for). All that from a straightforward slasher? Well, it’s not bad at all.

After an ominous prequel that sets up the minimalistic origin for the homicidal “Mountain Man”, we meet the rambunctious crew of young snowboarders that are travelling to Jotunheim, to surf some serious powder well away from the usual tourist traps. However, when cocky Morten Tobias (Rolf Kristian Larsen) takes a particularly nasty fall and bares his splintered legbone, the rest of the crew are forced to take shelter in a nearby abandoned hotel lodge. However, the snowbound inn turns out to be the Norwegian equivalent of Camp Crystal Lake, as a hulking and mysterious “Mountain Man” starts to quickly pick them off in a gory fashion with a bloody great pick-axe and brute strength. Clad in snow gear and a dark-eyed balaclava, his motives and identity are unknown, leaving feisty final girl Jannicke (an excellent Ingrid Bolsø Berdal) to try to survive against all odds and rescue her friends if possible.

Like a fresh covering of snow, “Cold Prey” is pure and uncomplicated. It’s as basic as a slasher gets, and there are no gimmicks apart from the frozen setting itself. “Mountain Man” has no bells and whistles to his schtick. A flashback at the beginning and the end gives you the minimum of information about his background, and there’s no real explanation as to why he has an itchy pickaxe-finger and wants to slaughter the snowboarders. But like the similarly mute Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers, he has presence and is marvellously merciless. The thick snow suit and hollow-socket ski mask make for an intriguing (and realistic) alternative to showier garb, as well as adding an air of mystery and menace.

But the reason why CP works so well is down to the set-up and the build-up. Like most of the better slashers, the narrative takes time to introduce us to the victims and their predicament. By the time, the villain makes his presence known, we’re invested in their fate. This is especially true for the first murder which echoes Drew Barrymore’s tragic demise in the original “Scream”. A likeable character is pursued and screams for help, being ultimately killed just yards from salvation whilst her cries are drowned out and her friends remain oblivious. It’s this kind of intensity that makes the film feel fresher and the ferocity of the “Mountain Man” attacks more compelling. Remember, that this was a time when people were still expecting their horror flicks to be post-modern, meta, or satirical. The fact that this was played so straight and effectively as a thriller, more than a simple by-the-numbers slashathon, meant that it was embraced by an audience who craved that type of proven suspense.

Once you get past the gimmick of the snow-covered setting, there really isn’t anything hugely original about the whole project. But it is well-acted, brilliantly shot, and expertly paced, which are three factors normally neglected in this type of sub-genre. The fact that there isn’t a ton of exposition about the killer is also strangely refreshing, as is the sudden and conclusive ending, which feels somewhat more satisfying for not being strung out with false scares and an unnaturally death-defying antagonist.

Of course, having said that… “Cold Prey” did become a trilogy. The 2008 sequel (“Cold Prey 2: Resurrection”) defied the odds by being almost as good as the original, but (like the 1980s “Halloween II”) it moves the action to a hospital where Jannicke (a returning Berdal) faces you-know-who again. Part 3 followed in 2010 but this was actually a prequel to the first film. WWE Studios apparently acquired the exclusive English-language remake rights to the franchise and sealed a deal for an option to purchase the screenplay for a same-named remake. But seeing as that was announced waaay back in 2017, it’s extremely unlikely that we’ll see it now. So ignore the horribly dubbed version and embrace the subtitles to watch the best slasher of 2006.  

Fun Fact: The hotel room in which Ingunn is killed, and later the others hide in, is room number 237. This must be a shout-out to Stanley Kubrick’s “The Shining”, where the same notorious room number has become an integral part of its lore and acted as a cinematic hub for the supernatural shenanigans.  

SEVERANCE

(Directed by Christopher Smith)

'Just saw a geezer in a balaklava with a suitcase... No... more of a travel bag.' At first glance, horror and comedy don’t appear to be the most natural bedfellows. One is trying to elicit fear and tension, whilst the other is attempting to make you laugh. They do have some things in common, however. Both genres are often overlooked by the critical community, in part because laughing and recoiling in terror are both viewed as knee-jerk instincts that we have little control over. Films that press these buttons are sometimes accused of being ‘crude’. Both horror and comedy also place a great emphasis on timing. You need to lay the groundwork for a good gag or scare, and the delivery must be perfect – otherwise you end up with a cheap laugh or unearned jump moment. And whilst you will certainly find a great many genre films that have no trace of humour (Hereditary, The Shining, Martyrs) there are lots that do. Because providing just a moment of comedic relief, even if it is black comedy, can prove to be extremely effective. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) is probably the most earnest of the franchise, yet Freddy Krueger still raises the occasional chuckle and when we’re not being terrified of sharks, Jaws (1975) has a handful of genuinely funny scenes. Sometimes we just need a bit a release. Of course, there are other movies that offer a more even blend of horror and comedy and whilst it’s not easy to reach a happy equilibrium, there are some stand out examples; Shaun of the Dead (2004), Ready or Not (2019), Gremlins (1984), Freaky (2020), The Cabin in the Woods (2011), Drag Me To Hell (2009), An American Werewolf in London (1981), Get Out (2017). Whilst some of these do provide some genuine scares, it is usually the horror element of horror-comedies that fail to land. Ultimately, the more comedy you serve up, the harder it is to frighten people. It’s a fine balancing act and one that Christopher Smith’s Severance, gets spot on.

There’s certainly nothing funny about the opening scene, where a middle-aged man is pursued through woodland before being caught in a snare and then efficiently disembowelled. Alas, we haven’t got too long to wait as we’re promptly introduced to our main characters – a group of bickering co-workers whose employer, Palisade Defence, has sent them on a team building weekend in the Hungarian mountains. The fact that three of this gang are Tim McInnerny, Danny Dyer and Andy Nyman should give you some idea that we’re not meant to take any of this too seriously. When a fallen tree blocks the road, the driver refuses to take the alternative route through the woods and after a bit of a quarrel, decides to drive off, leaving the Palisade crew at the side of the road. They decide to follow the woodland path on foot and after some mild despair, eventually find what they are looking for. The lodge isn’t as ‘luxury’ as the brochure suggested though and is in a state of disrepair and it isn’t long before they realise that they may not be in the right place at all. In fact, they might have put themselves in imminent danger…

Christopher Smith is one of those genre directors who is often overlooked. Sure, his recent efforts, Consecration (2023) and The Banishing (2020) were nothing to write home about. But in the noughties he produced a clutch of impressive horror films and he and Neil Marshall were probably the best British horror film-makers out there. His debut film, Creep (2004), was a wonderfully grisly film set in the London underground and five years later he helmed the impressive nautical mystery thriller Triangle, starring Melissa George. Sandwiched between these two films was Severance (2006). The roaring success of Shaun of the Dead two years earlier proved that horror comedies weren’t dead and buried but there wasn’t exactly a slew of British imitators for quite some time. In fact, Smith’s Severance was perhaps the first film brave enough to test the post Shaun of the Dead waters. And in truth, it bears little resemblance to Edgar Wright’s film, apart from perhaps the snappy editing. Shaun of the Dead is a comedy about zombies. It’s 95% comedy, 5% horror. Severance is seeking to balance things out a bit more, however. Sure, it is more interested in getting laughs from its audience but it’s also trying to add some genuine tension and shocks in there too and for the most part, it is successful. It’s got a real nasty edge to it - when characters meet their end, you’re not meant to guffaw. Limbs are lopped off, heads are severed, people are burnt alive. It doesn’t mess about, there’s some real savagery on show. You are meant to cringe and perhaps be a little sad too because although there are quite a few characters here and most of them don’t get on with each other, we don’t really want any of them to die.

At its heart, Severance is a slasher movie but unlike many of its peers, it’s not interested in being self-referential or meta in any way shape or form. There’s a simplicity to it that feels almost nostalgic. Sure, Danny Dyer’s ‘I’m a cheeky horny-and-high London lad’ thing outstays its welcome quite quickly but there’s too much to like here for it to become too distracting. If you like a dollop of visceral gore and genuine tension with your horror-comedies, then you’ll really enjoy this.

Fun fact: Because Laura Harris had such fun on the set with her fellow cast members, she found that she was often in too good a mood to reach the emotional depths needed for her character when it was time for her to shoot. So just prior to filming emotionally draining scenes, she would listen to dark and depressing music, to help her get out of the mirthful mood she was in.

THE HILLS HAVE EYES

(Directed by Alexandre Aja)

'Ninety-seven percent of nation wide coverage, and we get stuck in the three percent.'

The early noughties saw a host of horror remakes being produced. J-Horror hits such as Dark Water, Ju-On: The Grudge and Ringu received big budget American treatments, whilst Platinum Dunes and Dark Castle were responsible for some seriously average reboots (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre aside). We were also forced to watch some truly terrible attempts, such as Rupert Wainwright’s The Fog and Neil LaBute’s The Wicker Man. Most of them were lazy cash grabs and it wasn’t the genre’s finest period. Classics were being dragged through the mud a little and it wasn’t much fun to see and all it really did was make us want to rewatch the 70s and 80s originals that these films were imitating. Let’s face it, have there been any remakes since the turn of the century that have matched their predecessors? The Crazies (2010) perhaps? Maybe Leigh Whannel’s re-imagining of The Invisible Man (2020)? Well, there is one that stands out amongst the crowd as actually being better than the original. Alex Aja’s remake of The Hills Have Eyes.

Signing up young talented European directors to helm studio horror in the early noughties was relatively commonplace. Alejandro Amenabar (The Others), Marcus Nispel (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness Falls) Jaume Collet-Serra (House of Wax) were all hired to do such a job. So when Wes Craven decided that his 1977 cannibal flick could do with an update, it’s little wonder that their talent search unearthed Alex Aja, a 27 year old French director who a few years previously, had received critical acclaim for a brutal slasher film called Haute Tension (or Switchblade Romance as it is otherwise known). Haute Tension’s plot twist may have left a lot of people cold, but there was no doubt that both Aja and his writing partner, Gregory Levasseur, were ones to watch. ‘After viewing the film and then meeting the film makers, I knew I wanted to work with them.’ Craven later said in an interview. It turned out to be a perfect match.

Wes Craven is one of the godfathers of horror, no question. Over the course of three decades, he made films that changed the trajectory of the genre; The Last House on the Left (1972), A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), Scream (1996). But his output was a little inconsistent admittedly and although he didn’t make any terrible films (hmmm, Cursed (2005) runs it close actually), he made some that were middling. The Hills Have Eyes (1977) was one of these. It’s obviously very lo-fi due to budget constraints and although it’s still a bit of a cult fave amongst some, you can see that Craven hasn’t fully found his voice or style yet. It's not aged particularly well either. Alex Aja, armed with a healthy budget ($15m), gives us a polished yet equally brutal update though. Craven based his story on the Scottish legend of Sawny Bean and set it in the Nevada desert, but Aja smartly decided to adjust the location to New Mexico and introduced a backdrop of nuclear testing and fallout. The age-old classic theme of ‘look how humans have fucked up the planet’. A decent budget also allows for better actors and the casting is a big reason why Aja’s version works so well. Ted Levine is perfect as Big Bob, the old-school protector of the family.  Kathleen Quinlan, Vinessa Shaw and Aaron Stanford, Emilie de Ravin and Dan Byrd make up the rest of the family group and each one delivers in terms of making us care what happens to them. And boy does stuff happen to them.

The first forty minutes or so are spent getting to know the Carter family – who are heading to San Diego for an anniversary part. They stop to fill up with gas and meet a creepy old attendant who suggests a shortcut through the hills. Big Bob is up for it, his wife isn’t. But Big Bob is the one that makes the decisions and so wins out. When they get a puncture, we see the hidden spike strip that causes it, they don’t. Aja lets us know that there is trouble ahead whilst our heroes are none the wiser. The group decide to split up (uh oh!), with Big Bob and his son is law Doug (Stanford) walking in opposite directions to look for help, whilst the rest of the gang stay with the vehicles. Shortly after this, violence erupts on a grand scale. Five minutes of bloodshed and murder and deprivation. It’s a segment that proved too much for certain viewers, with walk outs reported at cinemas across the US and beyond.

The Hills Have Eyes is a film of two halves really. Not in terms of quality, but in terms of the type of movie you get. The first is a tense family drama and the second is a gruesome revenge story. Special effects king Greg Nicotero has his work cut out here, with an array of malformed mutants and copious amounts of gnarly kills. And it all looks great. Although it did well at the box office, it undoubtedly played better to horror fans than casual viewers. There have been accusations that The Hills Have Eyes is ‘torture-porn’ but that’s a bit of a stretch. It’s not for the faint of heart for sure, but what did people expect going in to see a film about a bunch of cannibals terrorising a family in the desert?

Fun fact: There was allegedly great difficulty shooting the scenes where a gun was pointed at the baby, not because the child was too scared, but because it kept trying to play with the gun.